Friday, January 28, 2011

bon voyage!

See ya next month! :)

Today we leave on a 9 day Mexican Riviera cruise. I'm so ready. Relaxation, sun, & Bloody Mary's every morning... with no one side-eyeing you over it. Ahhh... vacation.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

reflecting - better late then never.

I said I would post about the first year of marriage, now WEEKS later I'm finally finding the time/inspiration/will to do so. It's not that I don't have a million things to say - it's just that I don't know how to sum it all up without making this pages & pages long.

I can't begin to tell you the amount of people who told me how difficult the first year is, that it's the toughest year.

My first year as a married woman was something like this...

Exciting, tough, and exciting.

We bought our condo about 5 months before we got married, and moved into it on Halloween weekend in 2009, so a few months before our wedding. Until then we had never lived together, and aside from 1 year living with a friend when I was 21, I had never lived with anyone before, other than my family of course. Ted, on the other hand, had been "on his own" for quite a while, living with roommates & by himself for a long time. So for me cohabitating was exciting & tough. For the first time in my life I was responsible for a home. It's something I still struggle with to this day. I'm not a neat & tidy person by nature, and I'm lazy. I like relaxing & I hate chores. So you know... there's still a bit of a learning curve for me when it comes to keeping house. It's something I'm working on and hope to greatly  improve on in 2011. I think we all learn that being in a relationship with someone & seeing them all the time =/= living together. At all. Things that might be annoying or slightly irksome to you, you can ignore those things when you go home. When you live together you then have to figure out how to deal with the day to day. It's all worth it.

Learning how to be a wife. Again, exciting & tough. I personally find it funny that I still seem to struggle with the urge & desire to be a "1950's housewife". Do it all, and do it with a smile. Plus work outside the home. I find it funny because that was not my mom. She was awesome, but 1950's she was not. Maybe that's why I try to act that way?? Who knows. I consider myself lucky because I married someone who doesn't expect that from me. The fact that I completely fail at meeting my "1950's" standards would be so much more difficult if my husband also expected those things from me. So you know, finding balance between being a woman, wife, friend, daughter... it's been tough. And exciting. Discovering my husband. Letting my husband be a husband... be a man in this relationship. It's all worth it.

Balancing Life after Marriage. This one was mostly just tough, with a little excitement mixed in. I failed in some ways, some people failed me in other ways. It's a balancing act for sure. I'm very lucky because I have an extremely supportive family. I came to see who wants to be in my life and who doesn't. I've made some amazing new friendships in the past year. There has been sadness & loss. There has also been happiness & much gain. I could write something entirely on how friendships (can) change after marriage, but not now. Either way, it was again, all worth it.

Learning a new way of communication has been exciting & tough. Exciting in a way like... anxious. It's one thing to not have any responsibilites and live in a dream world when you're dating. What do you really have to argue about that can't be resolved quickly with an "I'm sorry."? Living together, owning a home together, resposibilities to each other & ourselves, love, homelife, day to day stuff... there can be so many pitfalls and arguments. We both had to learn a new way of communicating our needs, desires, difficulties.  Again - it's worth it. Great communication is worth it! I am a firm believer in that, if you can't communicate you don't have anything. That rule may not be true for everyone, but it is for us.

I can honestly say that if the first year is the toughest... I don't know whether to be jumping for joy or absolutely terrified. I thought our first year was awesome. Full of joy & love & excitement & tough conversations that led to knew understanding. So, is the tough stuff still ahead? Probably. There's always tough stuff. But if there's one thing I've learned in the past year it's that it truly is all worth it. Even when I get so mad at Ted I can barely see straight, the openness & understanding that comes from that is worth it.

At the end of this now, I find myself wondering how I will feel in 5 years, 15 years, 30 years?? Will I feel the same? Would I laugh at my old self? Would I cry happy tears of rememberance? Who knows. There's only today, this day, this life. I can honestly say that at 1 year of marriage, I love being married. I love my life, I love being a wife to my husband. I love the life we're building. I feel so lucky. Sorry if this is too repetative but... It's ALL worth it.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

One Year

Today is our First Anniversary as husband & wife. I wanted to do a more in depth post on the first year of marriage... but I forgot. Ha. Ran out of time, the whole shebang, so it will have to wait for later this week.


Tuesday, January 4, 2011

mac & cheese: update edition

I made the mac & cheese from yesterdays post, for dinner last night. It was good. It's not the traditional mac & cheese you may be thinking of - I mean, it DOES have pureed butternut squash in it, and although you can barely taste that in the mac & cheese, you CAN taste it. It does give the mac & cheese the traditional & comforting "orange" color though.

I also have to admit that my attempt at making it healthier semi-failed. I added WAY more cheese then I was suppose to. I kept trying the sauce and it just never tasted cheesy enough for me, and we had to actually eat it for dinner, so I had to make sure it was edible. I would say I doubled the amount of cheese & mustard powder that the recipe called for. I have no idea what that does to the health factor, and I'm not going to obsess over it either. It was good, even Ted liked it & is having leftovers for lunch today. I call that a success. 

I might make it again, I'm not sure. It was worth a try, that's for sure. If you want to attempt making it I would encourage you the halve the recipe. This recipe makes a 9x13 baking dish of mac & cheese. Unless you love leftovers or your family is huge & you'll eat all of it in one sitting, I would encourage you to save a little $ and just make half. That way if you don't like it then it's not a huge loss. Also, I used fresh butternut squash that was already cubed up for me, but I pureed it in our blender with a little milk so it would blend up nicely.

Monday, January 3, 2011

mac & cheese

I love mac & cheese. Ted loves mac & cheese. There's been plenty of it consumed in our home. My father in law makes the most delicious mac & cheese. I've tried to follow his "recipe" but mine never comes out quite like his... probably because he never makes the exact same m&c twice. He uses whatever cheeses are in the house, which means that the m&c always tastes a little different - but always just as yummy. Anyways... so we love mac & cheese. I even love Kraft, my husband does not. If he's going to eat the "instant" kind, he likes Velveeta.

Well I've decided to make a concious effort to get us eating healthier. One way I've decided to explore is by healthifying comfort foods. I know, it's a scary prospect.

For dinner tonight I will be making Macaroni & 4 Cheeses. I'm definitely aware that it's not going to be my father in laws mac & cheese, but the reviews are promising and I think it's going to be good. I hope, I seriously hope it will be.

Updates later!

p.s. Happy Birthday, Dad!

Sunday, January 2, 2011

2010 in review

I stole this from another blog and decided to join in on the fun! :)

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?

Got married & co-habitated.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don't think I made none last year, I'm not big on resolutions. I did actually think of one for 2011, though. I have about 100 recipes I've printed out and I really need to organize them.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Some friends have had babies, and my sister in law as well.

4. Did anyone close to you die?


5. What countries did you visit?


6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?

More confidence and happiness in myself.

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

January 8, the date we got married <3

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Not completely losing my mind while trying to learn how to be a good wife.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Cleaning. I hate cleaning and I need to really make some improvements in that area.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?


11. What was the best thing you bought?

Hmm... I've seriously cut down on my spending in the last year. I would have to go with my HTC Evo 4G.

12. Where did most of your money go?

Bills, bills, bills.

13. What did you get really excited about?

Our wedding, and our cruise we're taking in January 2011.

14. What song will always remind you of 2010?

Anything by Jason Mraz! We had two of his songs played at our wedding.

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:

– happier or sadder? happier!
– thinner or fatter? fatter :(
– richer or poorer? Richer. woo!

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?

I wish I had cared more about exactly what makes me happy.
17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

I wish I had cared less about other people, to be honest.
18. How did you spend Christmas?
With family! We went from my in-laws to my parents, and had Christmas dinner with my family this year.
19. What was your favorite TV program?
I always love Bones & Private Practice. Boardwalk Empire & Walking Dead were good as well.
20. What were your favorite books of the year?
I've read SO MANY! I can't pick one, but my genre of choice would be Romance, right now.
21. What was your favorite music from this year?
My favorite new album from this year would be Little Big Town's "The Reason Why". I also loved Shiny Toy Guns, The Eagles, Taylor Swift, Katy Perry and Lady Gaga.
22. What were your favorite films of the year?
Are we talking just movies that came out in 2010? If so... True Grit (so awesome!), Eat, Pray, Love & The Sorcerer's Apprentice. There were other's I liked, but I love almost all movies.
23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Went to dinner with my husband & family, we went to The Melting Pot and it was soooo yummy.
24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Realizing that I don't have to take everyone elses feelings into account over my own, sooner.
25. What kept you sane?
My husband, friends who let me bounce crazy throughts off of, and of course my ND ladies.
26. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
Being right doesn't always feel good. Sometimes you just need to let things go.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Why, Hello there Gorgeous.

Happy New Year!

I love the promise that only New Years can bring about. I'm not big on resolutions, if I want to do something then I just do it... but I do hope to make 2011 even better then 2010. More love, more laughter, and yeah sure... a little more emphasis on being healthy, too. :)